Because we cant know everything,

I have dreams,
of Paris, of Alaska, and of Helen.


I care about certain things to the point of extremely high anxiety,
and other things, I can ignore, pretend they dont exhist.
Usually they are thing I should care about, it scares me.


If you really knew me, you would know that I have been on a desperate venture to find neverland, and Im failing.


Theres this girl, I cant stop thinking about her, and I want to get this out towards the beginning, so here we go.
I just want to kiss you.


If you really knew me, you would know that as soon as I picked up this pen, every word, no matter how brilliant, poetic, cliche, unoriginal, brilliant, whatever. They all left me.


If you really knew me you would know that Im after honesty, and not much else.


If you really knew me you would know that my heart fell out of my chest long ago, and  I cant find it.


If you really knew me you would know that the Phantom of my basement is alot more convincing than my parents.
I dont know how much I like that.


If you really knew me, you would know that im never happy with the seasons,


when its spring I want fall,
when its summer I want fall,
when its winter I want fall,


And when it is fall, I fall.




If you really knew me, you would know that I spent a whole week hunting from a canoe,And I never left my house.


If you really knew me you would know that im sick of falling for every girl with curls and a sundress.


If you really knew me, you would know that Helen matters more to me than even my family.
which is ok, because I finally found out "who" she is.


If you really knew me you would know that I depend more on my friends, and empty film cameras, than God and I focus more on nothingness and nature, and I dont care what my parents say nearly as much as I should.


If you really knew me, youd know that im perfectly happy with who I am,
But all I want is to change.


For better or for worse.


Dear Perfection,
Your never going to happen. 
Please stop sleeping with all my friends.
love,
nom